Welcome to my blog. This is the first post so I thought I’d set out what you’ll find here.

I intend to post on a whole host of topics such as:

Meditation (Tibetan Buddhism, Zen, Vedanta/Non Dualism.)

Buddhist emptiness teachings,

Overcoming dissociation – Developing a full emotional range and emotional composure,

Practice after a spiritual awakening,

Trauma healing,

Leaving cults and cult like institutions,

Understanding abuse and dysfunction.

This latter one will focus in part on the topic of recovering from abuse caused by someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD.)

I’ll be writing on these topics using my professional experience as a Life Coach, Trauma Recovery Coach, Meditation Teacher, Engineer, Dad, Husband, Business Owner, and intermittent Counselling frequenter.

Everything I write about will have elements of personal experience; drawing on insights about each subject from my natural tendency to investigate and examine the beautiful and the ugly in equal measure. I use my meditation training to look deeply and unflinchingly into these challenging subjects. If the insights and information are of benefit to you in your everyday life, meditation practice and healing process then great, that’s the intention.

It’s safe to say that I’m not what most people expect a Buddhist to be. The people who attend my meditation classes, and know me in everyday life, are well aware of this. I’m a rough around the edges awakened working class Northerner with unflinching commitment to keeping it real. I love to bust spiritual taboos and dogmas. Buddhists often play the role of a ‘Buddhist’ when they think someone’s watching. I say this from 20 years of wry observation. I can’t be bothered playing that game, it’s just a veneer.

As an Engineer I look to cut out the fluff and get down to the crucial and essential points of things. I’m not afraid of feeling anger or displaying it and thus I’m not afraid of you doing the same, in fact I wouldn’t want it an other way. The same goes for any other thought or feeling you and I may have. They are not wrong and they are welcome.

I’ve come to see that authentic awakened experience is stillness observing the appearing world through the senses of a person. In this case that person is ‘Paul’ with his tendencies, traits, foibles, emotions and thoughts. The mind can be trained or allowed to be anything. It can be still, busy, full of amazing visualisations, empty, angry, compassionate, empathic, selfish etc etc.

Spiritually we can let things go, or let them be. We can train the mind or not. Both are equally valid spiritual awakened practices. Cultivate the mind like a manicured garden, or leave it to be a beautiful wild meadow.

There are no weeds in a meadow, every plant is accepted as a beautiful flower.

In a manicured garden everything is controlled and cultivated. It’s pristine. Any flower deemed to be in the wrong place is labelled a weed and removed.

I used to belief that meditation should make my mind like a beautifully manicured garden. I found along the way that there is an equally valid alternative.

Stillness is just as happy looking at the unfettered wild meadow as it is looking at the manicured lawn. Both are authentic.

You won’t find the manicured lawn here. That’s really not ‘Paul’s’ style. I hope this blog is helpful.